In the big wide world of adoption, the word attachment is connected to most conversations in some way.
For me personally, answering the most frequently asked question of "how are the kids adjusting and attaching" is often answered with a smile and the words....."we are on a great journey, each day is a new discovery"
Attachment at the Blaske house has not been looked at as an item on a check list to be checked off...For example: "work on attachment"...CHECK, done...
Nope, it is the ebb and flow of discovery of all of our lives, stories and life situations blending, clashing, melding and connecting day by day for the rest of our lives.
Are we closer in some areas now then we were on that super "gottcha day" March 2008..YES!
In looking back at the almost two years of having J and V home, I can see a pattern of "attachment opportunities" woven into the fabric of our family.
It looks something like this:
CHANGE ='s re-checking SECURITY
~Dave has to work late a few nights in a row....schedule changes
??? Mom, did Daddy give you that wedding ring????
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~Ashlie moves to her own house in town
???Mom, did Daddy kiss you on your meeting day???
(J calls our wedding our "meeting day")
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~I get sick and go to hospital for a day
???Daddy, did mommy wear that long dress at the wedding???
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~Brock gets a job after school and starts coming home after the kids are in bed
???Mom do you get to do your wedding day again???
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over and over and over and over and over and over
the "wedding/marriage" questions get asked.
Looking back at our two years, these questions get asked at times of change,
and when security in some form is in question!
A few weeks ago, Dave was at a meeting, Brock was at work, Tanner and Tristan were at church and Gabriels passport had come in....CELEBRATION!
I was not even feeling the ground under my feet, I was sooooo excited about the passport. There had been a buzz around the house all day!
In the evening while everyone was gone and doing their thing, J, V and I were snuggled on my bed reading before bed.
We finished the book, prayed and were getting up off the bed when the questions started.
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"What was your meeting day like mommy?"
"Did Daddy kiss you, do you kiss anyone else"
"where is your dress?"
Ahhhhh ha!
I jumped out of bed, went into my closet, climbed up got my wedding dress box down
and
OPENED IT,
It Swooshed out of the box as we all watched the train float across my floor!
GASPS
GIGGLES
LAUGHTER
MORE LAUGHTER and SQUEALS
from J and V as they rolled around on my bed!
I said, V, do you want to put my dress on?
"Y E S MOM!!!" (through LOUD laughter)
Down she hopped out of my bed, and in a moment she had stepped into my dress got zipped up and stood looking with HUGE eyes at me...
"mom it is soooo heavy and so pretty!" and out we marched to the front room where the full length mirror was. Twirling, swirling, giggling she stood staring at herself.
J, what was J doing...WIDE eyed he was attached to my RIGHT leg like a Velcro child, smiling from ear to ear!
How many times have the "wedding / marriage" questions been asked over the last two years? I do not think I can count.
How many more will be asked?
I do not know...but I do know that change brings up the need to check
and re-check and re-check SECURITY...
What could be MORE SECURE for a child than a healthy, happy SECURE marriage!
Who would of known that my special kiss, my beautiful ring, my trailing veil and fantastic dress would be a topic of monthly, weekly and sometimes daily conversation almost 17 years after I said "I DO".....
